Not your exotic Barbie

“Girl, you’re beautiful. You’re so…exotic! Like Exotic Barbie!”

An attempted compliment slurred in my ear from the mouth of a visibly inebriated white male at a party weeks ago.

“Where are you from?!” he continues.

“Uh, California,” I reply reluctantly.

“No, like, what country were you born in?”

“…America?”

I am becoming increasingly annoyed.

“Nooooooo, I mean where are your parents from? I’m guessing Iran… or maybe Spain? On second thought, you look like you could be Russian!

My reply is icy.

“My dad was born in Boston, Massachusetts, and my mom is from Honolulu, Hawaii. Both of these are cities are located in the United States of America, if you didn’t know.”

And with that, I marched away, before my seething internal anger could become palpably external.

In retrospect, I know full well that this drunk young man had not intended to insult me. I know he had intended the opposite, to give me a compliment on my physical appearance. This compliment might have been welcomed…had it not been so racially microaggressive.

Microaggressions — seemingly harmless, everyday statements that often aren’t presented with intentional malice yet degrade some aspect of a marginalized identity.

Microaggressions were initially coined by Harvard Professor Chester M. Pierce in 1970 to refer to statements that marginalized black people, said by non-black people. Now, migroaggressions can refer to any aspect of identity—be it gender identity, gender expression, sex, race, ethnicity, nationality, disability, sexuality, or religion.

Now, most people still do not understand why being called “exotic” is microaggressive (because this was not the first time it has happened to me).

Let me enlighten you.

This boy saw my appearance, processed it, and came to the conclusion that my physical features did not fit into what he perceives as “American.” Because we all know that in America, arguably the world’s most ethnically and racially diverse nation, if you don’t look purely White or possess stereotypically Anglo-saxon features, then there is no possible way that you could have been born here, right?

This glorification of Western/White (or at least White-looking) people is extremely problematic. It can contribute to the proliferation of non-American cultural isolation, the belief that “the West is the best” and all other nations are inferior, and sends the message that anyone who is the tiniest bit diverse is unwelcome here.

Ethnically, I am half Chinese, and half German/Swedish. My nationality is American. I am just as American as you, drunk white guy at the party.

And I am not your “Exotic” Barbie.